tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63008373870637849262024-03-05T02:51:19.694-07:00 Jennifer Ann Holt - AuthorIncluding thoughts on adoption, infertility, motherhood, books, and anything else that makes me smile.Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-14311775515604494502014-02-25T20:05:00.000-07:002014-02-25T20:05:00.710-07:00Delivering Hope - PreviewOlivia's hands were shaking as she opened the small, pink box containing the pregnancy test. She carefully unfolded the instructions, which she read every single time she was about to use one of these sticks. The familiar words raced through her mind without really registering, but she knew the important parts by heart. Accurate up to five days before your period, and then, the appearance of one line is a negative result, the appearance of two lines is a positive result. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and whispered, “Here it goes.”<br />
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After placing the test stick face up on the counter and flushing the toilet, Olivia looked around her bathroom, studying the tiny purple flowers on her shower curtain and that place in the corner where the warm tan paint she had applied to the wall slightly overlapped the white baseboard. She noticed that they were running low on shampoo and that she needed to get a new bar of soap from the closet in the hall. She consciously kept her gaze away from the small piece of plastic lying on the corner of her counter while the required three minutes seemed to drag on for thirty. She checked her watch. Nope. One minute left to go. She knew if she glanced at the test, she would be able to get an idea of what the results were, since the lines would already be forming. Instead, Olivia directed her eyes to the laundry hamper and made a mental note that she would need to wash a load of whites today.<br />
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One more peek at her watch told Olivia that the time was up. She could check the results. Her heart was racing, and her palms had become wet and sticky. She chided herself for getting so worked up. The results would be whatever they were, and she could not do anything about them now. Olivia did not realize that she was holding her breath as she reached over, gripped the test stick in her hand, and looked down. One line. Negative. She was not pregnant.<br />
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Olivia felt the air rush from her lungs as though she had been hit right in the belly. She dropped the stick with a little clatter on the tile floor and braced herself against the vanity cabinets as she slid down to sit on the plush bathroom rug. Olivia propped her elbows on her knees and buried her face in her hands. The tears came as they always did. Slowly at first, as the results of the pregnancy test sank in, then harder and harder until the sobs were bursting, uncontrolled, from her chest. She let herself have a good, hard cry, then rubbed her eyes in anger and frustration when the tears stopped coming and her eyes began to burn.<br />
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Partly, Olivia was angry with herself. Angry that she had let her hopes build up once again. Frustrated that the news was still affecting her in this way. This was, after all, the twelfth pregnancy test she had taken in as many months. Every month she told herself that she was <em>not</em> going to buy another test. She would just wait and let nature tell her whether she was pregnant or not, but the “not knowing” was almost as unbearable as finding out she wasn’t.<br />
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Olivia also had to admit that she was getting frustrated with Heavenly Father. Having a family was her greatest desire, and she could not understand why that blessing was being withheld. Before her mind could wander too far in that direction, there was a soft knock on the bathroom door.<br />
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“Livvy, are you okay? I’ve got to leave or I’ll be late for work.” It was Michael. This was the part Olivia dreaded most of all. Michael wanted a child as much as she did, and it broke her heart to have to tell him month after month after month that there was still no baby on the way. She stood up and splashed a little cool water on her face. After a quick pat dry, she opened the door.<br />
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Before Olivia could even open her mouth, Michael knew. Her big blue eyes were not bright and vibrant as usual; they were darker—almost gray—a sure sign that she had been crying. She gave a nearly imperceptible shake of her head and attempted to shrug off the ache in her heart.<br />
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Michael tried to hide the disappointment that rushed through him. He knew that Livvy needed him to be strong right now. He opened his arms and said, “Oh, Livvy, I’m so sorry!”<br />
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As she buried her head in his shoulder and the tears started flowing again, she whispered, “Me too, Michael. Me too.”Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-91303022819993027842013-09-16T10:57:00.001-06:002013-09-16T10:57:41.024-06:00Love, Hugs, and Hope<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I really enjoyed this sweet children's book written by Christy Monson and illustrated by Lori Nawyn. Christy is a retired marriage and family therapist, and her expertise is evident in the way she simply and beautifully talks to children about how to work through their feelings "When Scary Things Happen".<br />
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"Sometimes bad things happen to good people"... this book begins. It offers caring and practical advice about how children - or adults for that matter - can express feelings, let them out, and work to feel safe. My favorite is "kick a pile of dirty laundry!" (There would be plenty of options at my house.)<br />
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If you'd like to purchase this simple, yet very insightful book, you can find it at the below links.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Love-Hugs-Hope-Things-Happen/dp/1938301609/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377552519&sr=1-2&keywords=love+hugs+and+hope" target="_blank">Amazon</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.familius.com/love-hugs-and-hope#.UhvIxj9tXTo" target="_blank">Familius</a></div>
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Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-4389456953397082862013-09-10T00:00:00.000-06:002013-09-10T10:25:02.686-06:00Becoming Free: A Woman's Guide to Internal Strength<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm excited to post this review about a new book by one of my favorite author friends: Christy Monson. This book really resonated with a lot of things that I've been thinking about right now. I enjoyed reading it, and it re-affirmed one of my long held beliefs (and one of the reasons that I love reading and writing so much): WORDS HAVE POWER!<br />
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There you go. Whether they are spoken out loud to others, read off a page, or thought within our own minds, words have power. They have power to encourage and uplift. They also have power to discourage and destroy. Words have the power to bring people together or tear them apart. Words even have power to heal wounds, dry tears, and mend broken hearts.<br />
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This message about the power of words seemed to be an underlying theme throughout <em>Becoming Free</em>. I loved how the author complemented her own stories and thoughts with inspiring quotes from Buddha, Helen Keller, Shakespeare, Benjamin Franklin, Amelia Earhart, Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi and many, many others.<br />
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The author herself wrote many lines that are now on my list of favorite quotes. Just a few of these are: "Life happens to all of us. It's what you do with those happenings that makes you who you are." And "Depression is No Friend of Physical Exercise".<br />
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I've read self-help books now and then, and I often walk away from them feeling either overwhelmed, bored, or simply uninspired. The way that Christy wrote about her own experiences from her career as a marriage and family therapist kept me engaged. As she combined those experiences with her assertion that the words we think about ourselves and the words we say to ourselves have a real impact on what we do and how act, she hooked me. Just a few of the areas of life she addresses are: work ethic, healing fear, decision making, allowing imperfection, and self-responsibility.<br />
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She offered real, practical exercises to help us re-train our inner dialogue, and she wrote of many things we can focus on in our life that will help uplift and free our minds and spirits. Some of these like gratitude, laughter, writing, service, and relying on a higher power have already blessed and strengthened my life.<br />
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I found a lot of wisdom in this book, and I highly recommend it! If you are struggling in your life or with how you feel about yourself, this is a great place to start. If you're more like me and you feel good about your life and the direction you're going, but are always looking for ways to grow and learn and become a little better each day, this is also a wonderful resource!<br />
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You can find <em>Becoming Free: A Woman's Guide to Internal Strength</em> at the following links:<br />
<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Free-Womans-Internal-Strength/dp/1938301846/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377554679&sr=1-1&keywords=becoming+free+a+woman%27s+guide+to+internal+strength" target="_blank">AMAZON</a> or <a href="http://www.familius.com/becoming-free#.UhvRjD9tXTo" target="_blank">Familius</a><br />
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The author is hosting a rafflecopter giveaway which you can enter below.<br />
<a class="rafl" href="http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/c469b43/" id="rc-c469b43" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway</a>
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Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-28607816174950488922013-02-11T09:45:00.000-07:002013-02-11T09:45:40.396-07:00Tide Ever Rising<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span id="yui_3_7_2_1_1360599597786_6058" style="background-color: transparent;">Kadence Reynold’s favorite pastime is
exploring old ghost towns, but when she and her sister, Maysha, stumble across
an old journal and cheap pendant hidden in the depths of a crumbling foundation
near Eureka, Utah, their world is suddenly turned upside down. Immediately,
strange dreams and premonitions begin to haunt “Kadie” as she learns more about
the author of the journal, Charlotte Clark. Kadie sets out on a journey to learn
more about Charlotte and her family, and she and Maysha travel to Bremerton,
Washington, where they discover Charlotte's still living twin sister, Adelaide
and her family.</span><br />
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Kadie and Maysha, upon arriving in
Washington, are immediately immersed in Adelaide and Charlotte’s story. Kadie
soon learns that Charlotte disappeared the night of a tragic fire that took the
lives of Adelaide’s entire family. With the help of Logan Mathews, Adelaide’s
handsome grandson, and Charlotte’s ever disconcerting presence, Kadie delves
into the past. Hoping to solve the mystery of Charlotte’s disappearance, Kadie
immediately discovers the secrets contained in the journal will toss her and
Adelaide’s family into a world filled with mystery, past regrets, and dark
unknowns.</div>
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<strong>MY REVIEW:</strong></div>
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I really enjoyed reading Mandi Tucker Slack's new book, <em>Tide Ever Rising. </em>I was pulled into the story and had a hard time putting it down. Mandi did a great job of setting the story up, and I felt that Kadie's desire to get drawn into this adventure was sincere. It was definitely a fun book to read! The action moved right along, and I enjoyed the romance that was sprinkled throughout. If you like romantic mysteries, this book will be right up your alley!</div>
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You can <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Tide-Rising-Mandi-Tucker-Slack/dp/1462111076/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1357920881&sr=1-1&keywords=Tide+Ever+Rising+Mandi" target="_blank">order your copy from Amazon</a> today, and check out more about the author, Mandi Tucker Slack by heading over to her <a href="http://www.mandituckerslack.com/" target="_blank">web site</a>.</div>
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Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-75196313839886243082012-11-13T05:00:00.000-07:002012-11-13T05:00:00.629-07:00Texting Through Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm very excited to post about a terrific book by a wonderful author! <em>Texting Through Time: John Taylor and the Mystery Puzzle</em> is the second <em>Texting Through Time</em> book by Christy Monson. They are in the vein of the Magic Tree House books that are so popular among young readers. I know my three children (two 7-year-old boys, and one 10-year-old girl) are going to love this book, and it was a quick and fun read for me, as well!<br />
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Micah and Alicia's father has created a time traveling cell phone, and in this installment, they travel through time to various events in the life of John Taylor. I loved the accurate historical details, as well as the way some serious questions (like 'Why does God allow bad things to happen?' and 'Does Heavenly Father love me even when I make a mistake?') were addressed in a simple and sincere way without slowing the story down. I even learned a few things about the life of John Taylor as Micah and Alicia tried to solve the mystery puzzle that would allow them to return home.<br />
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<o:p>This book would make a terrific Christmas gift for the young readers in your life! Plus, if you order your copy TODAY from <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Taylor-Mystery-Puzzle-Texting-Through/dp/1462110843/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1352779851&sr=1-3&keywords=texting+through+time" target="_blank">Amazon</a> or <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/john-taylor-and-the-mystery-puzzle-christy-monson/1112632742?ean=9781462110841" target="_blank">Barnes and Noble</a> and then go leave a comment on one of Christy's web sites listed below, you'll be entered into a drawing for a $25 Amazon Gift Certificate!</o:p><br />
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<o:p><a href="http://www.christymonson.com/">www.christymonson.com</a></o:p></div>
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<o:p><a href="http://www.textingthroughtime.com/">www.textingthroughtime.com</a> </o:p></div>
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<o:p><a href="http://www.christymonson.blogspot.com/">www.christymonson.blogspot.com</a></o:p></div>
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Also, for any of my northern Utah readers who would like to meet Christy (and you really do want to meet her, she's great) the official launch party will be held on Friday, November 23 at the Ogden Temple Deseret Book from 2:00 - 3:30 pm.Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-50416515985816805012012-07-10T06:00:00.000-06:002012-07-10T06:00:04.266-06:00Open Adoption, Open Heart<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="Profile Picture" class="scaledImageFitWidth img" height="400" itemprop="photo" src="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/373104_220921874646694_557281365_n.jpg" width="369" /></div>
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I'm excited to share with you a book that I had the opportunity to read. It's called <em>Open Adoption, Open Heart</em> by Russell Elkins. Russell sent me an e-mail the other day, and he was gracious enough to give me an e-copy of his book to read. This is a non-fiction book that tells the true story of Russell and his wife Jammie's first (of two) open adoptions. The story is told matter-of-factly and accurately portrays the adoption process. It doesn't dive too deeply into the emotions, and could be a good source of information for someone interested in pursuing an open adoption. I'm excited to get to know Russell and Jammie better, and look forward to reading more of their stories in the future.</div>
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To learn more about Russell, go to <a href="http://www.russellelkins.com/">www.russellelkins.com</a> and look for Open Adoption, Open Heart on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Open-Adoption-Open-Heart/220921874646694" target="_blank">Facebook</a> .</div>Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-8124622591359952872012-07-09T08:57:00.001-06:002012-07-09T08:57:20.835-06:00Once Upon A Baby Winner!!!Congratulations to Sunny! Using random.org, you are the winner of the signed copy of Once Upon A Baby~An LDS Adoption Story! <br />
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I'll get an e-mail out to you shortly!!!<br />
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Thanks to all who entered!<br />
<br />Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-44495805901149432642012-07-06T19:14:00.001-06:002012-07-06T19:14:48.297-06:00Once Upon A Baby: A Tale of Adoption<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="Profile Picture" class="scaledImageFitWidth img" height="400" itemprop="photo" src="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/41805_359956540709788_2142928898_n.jpg" width="262" /></div>
I was contacted a while ago by a wonderful mom named Shari Guess whose son joined their family through adoption. She's written a sweet book for young children about LDS adoption, and I had the opportunity to read it. She provided a copy for me and my children (Thanks, Shari!!!), as well as a signed copy to give away. So, if you'd like to win your very own copy, just leave a comment on this post, and you're entered! I'll announce the winner by 8:00 am on Monday morning (July 9th). Meanwhile, check out the book's web page: <a href="http://www.onceuponababybook.com/">www.OnceUponABabyBook.com</a> or find it on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/OnceUponABabyBook" target="_blank">Facebook</a>.<br />
<br />Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-35637653468210581382012-05-18T10:22:00.001-06:002012-05-18T10:22:23.899-06:00LDS Authors Giveaway Hop WinnerA great big thank you to all of you who entered the drawing for a signed copy of <em>Delivering Hope</em>! Using random.org, the winner is......... Cindy! I'll send you an e-mail right after I post this. If you didn't win, never fear, Delivering Hope is available in stores and online at <a href="http://www.seagullbook.com/lds-products-711784.html" target="_blank">Seagull Book</a>, <a href="http://deseretbook.com/Delivering-Hope-Jennifer-Ann-Holt/i/5078371" target="_blank">Deseret Book</a>, <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/delivering-hope-jennifer-ann-holt/1105707325" target="_blank">Barnes and Noble</a> (including nook), and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Delivering-Hope-Jennifer-Ann-Holt/dp/1599559021/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1337358083&sr=1-1" target="_blank">Amazon</a> (including Kindle).<br />
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Thanks again for stopping by! Happy Reading!!!!Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-76810838922395913622012-05-10T22:42:00.000-06:002012-05-10T22:49:49.078-06:00LDS Authors Giveaway Hop<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA6SWazTMn8n1LB3kt6PmGOVupI250hQ2DuF8nobu1vSbJQ8INhpbQzPUKQOqN3yEeZD93jGdxosCOgC75bDTnYjPlIVFIaGBb-9stcfRLBBbFJ4jKhNeufcjVL12f0bSKvtyaoKxmP9o/s1600/LDSHOP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" closure_uid_xzirdb="3" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjA6SWazTMn8n1LB3kt6PmGOVupI250hQ2DuF8nobu1vSbJQ8INhpbQzPUKQOqN3yEeZD93jGdxosCOgC75bDTnYjPlIVFIaGBb-9stcfRLBBbFJ4jKhNeufcjVL12f0bSKvtyaoKxmP9o/s320/LDSHOP.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I'm excited to be a part of this giveaway hop! I'm featuring my first novel, <em>Delivering Hope</em>, which has only been out a few months and is doing really well! The <strong>Deseret News </strong>says, "Sensitive ... honest ... <em>Delivering Hope</em> is a must-read ... an inspiring book that delivers on its name." <br />
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<strong><em><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Delivering Hope</span></em></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Olivia Spencer wants to be a mom more than anything else in the world, but years of infertility have wounded her soul and strained her marriage.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Allison Campbell is a recent high school graduate who discovers that a moment of excitement has led to an unplanned pregnancy and an overwhelming heartache.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As the lives of these women touch, we see that deep love can pave the way for sacrifice, and we learn the true source of hope, healing, and joy.</span></div>
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To enter the drawing for a signed copy of my book, please leave a comment on this post. If you would like an additional entry, "Like" my <a href="http://www.facebook.com/DeliveringHopeNovel" target="_blank">Facebook fan page</a>.</div>
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Then hop on over to the other blogs on the list to enter their drawings as well! Good luck and have fun!</div>
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</script>Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-68368014859372797672012-03-02T09:40:00.000-07:002012-03-02T09:40:47.606-07:00The Alias Blog Tour<img height="200" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51g2gf%2BhbyL._AA115_.jpg" width="200" />I'm excited to be a part of the blog tour for a fun book by a great writer! <em>The Alias</em> is author Mandi Slack's debut novel. Here's the back cover synopsis (or you can check out the<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-MIUrDCqM4" target="_blank"> book trailer</a>):<br />
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"Jacey Grayson is an average, young, divorced mother struggling to build a new life for her son, Blaze. But when the FBI discloses some disturbing information about her ex-husband, Jacey's life becomes anything but average. At the risk of losing her identity, her future, and her heart, Jacey and Blaze flee to Utah, hoping to hide and start over once again. But no matter how far she runs or who she pretends to be, her past is always lurking nearby, bring old fears with it."<br />
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I liked this book. I grew up in a small farming community, and I could really relate with Mandi's descriptions of small town life. She did a great job on those! <em>The Alias</em> was a fun mystery with a love story in the background which I found surprisingly tender (that was my favorite part!). <br />
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As part of her blog tour, Mandi is giving away an e-copy of <em>The Alias</em>. To enter, just click on over to her blog at <a href="http://www.mandislack.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow nofollow" target="_blank">www.mandislack.blogspot.com</a> and leave a comment and your e-mail address. Or you can purchase your own hard copy or Kindle copy on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=The+Alias&x=0&y=0" target="_blank">Amazon</a>.Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-81338724977321979582012-02-10T23:26:00.003-07:002012-02-10T23:28:51.576-07:00Blog Tour WinnersI want to thank everyone who stopped by, commented, liked us on Facebook, and watched the video trailer for <i>Delivering Hope</i>. We ended up with over 350 entries!!!!<br />
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The two lucky winners of a signed copy of <i>Delivering Hope</i> are:<br />
Rachel Whitaker Galbraith<br />
Rebecca (from New Jersey)<br />
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The five lucky winners of a <i>Delivering Hope</i> magnet and signed bookmark are:<br />
Wall-To-Wall Books<br />
Keira Ford<br />
jodilee0123<br />
Sabrina AndTim<br />
Pam Baker Christensen<br />
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Please send an e-mail to jenniferannholt@yahoo.com with your mailing address so I can get your prizes shipped off!<br />
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Thanks again everyone, and if you didn't win, you can now purchase <i>Delivering Hope</i> at CostCo, Barnes And Noble, Deseret Book, Seagull Book, amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, and many independent bookstores nationwide.Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-79046256033434082632012-01-22T20:12:00.001-07:002012-01-23T14:56:07.097-07:00Delivering Hope Blog TourI'd like to welcome everyone to my <em>Delivering Hope</em> blog tour running January 23 - February 10! If you are new to my blog, look around, and leave a comment to be entered into the drawing at the end of the tour for signed copies of <em>Delivering Hope</em>, as well as some bookmarks and magnets. Check out the <a href="http://www.jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com/p/blog-tour.html">"Blog Tour"</a> tab for a complete list of the fabulous blogs that are involved, and all the ways you can enter the drawing. Meanwhile, I've added links to some of my favorite posts for you to look through. Thanks for stopping by!<br />
<ul><li><a href="http://www.jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com/2011/02/there-is-no-more-hole.html">There Is No More Hole</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com/2011/03/life-isnt-fair.html">Life Isn't Fair</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com/2011/03/rain-will-make-flowers-grow.html">Rain Will Make The Flowers Grow</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com/2011/03/i-dreamed-dream.html">I Dreamed A Dream</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com/2011/05/just-because-its-your-secret-doesnt.html">Just Because It's Your Secret, Doesn't Mean It's True</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com/2011_04_01_archive.html">Never Alone</a></li>
</ul>Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-87303879339959132202011-11-11T14:36:00.001-07:002011-11-11T14:38:59.530-07:00Face to Face MeetingThis is the third post in a series about communicating with birth parents.<br />
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You have been communicating through e-mail and maybe over the phone with a specific birth mother, and now it's time for the face to face meeting. This is a tremendous opportunity for all of you, and something that is really worth looking forward to. There are many different ways that a face-to-face meeting can take place today. The social worker may or may not be present. It might be at the adoption agency, or it might be at a restaurant or other public place.<br />
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I know from personal experience how nervous you get walking in to meet the birth parent(s) that might place their baby with you, and lots of birth moms have told me that they are equally nervous to meet an adoptive couple. We all worry about whether we will be liked, or whether the other side will change their minds after meeting us. Here's the best advice I can offer to adoptive parents with a few B's. (There is another list of B's from a great man that I try to live by, but that's a story for another day.) <br />
<ul><li>Be Honest</li>
<li>Be Open</li>
<li>Be Yourself</li>
<li>Be United</li>
<li>Be sure to let the birth parent(s) talk!</li>
<li>Be certain you bring a camera!</li>
</ul>In an adoption triad, openness=honesty and vice versa. Don't try to hide things about yourself, people can usually tell when you're not being honest, and that doesn't help them trust you.<br />
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Don't try to be someone you're not. You need to be a good match for each other based on who you really are, not who you think they want you to be.<br />
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As I mentioned in an earlier post, many of these ideas come from a terrific social worker named Kevin Theriot. Where I say 'be united', he said, "Please don't argue with your spouse at the face to face meeting!" We all chuckled, but he told us that he has been floored by how often potential adoptive couples argue over little things in front of the birth parent(s) at this first meeting. Don't argue over what baby names you like, or whether or not you had agreed to adopt a child whose birth father used drugs, or whether or not to order dessert. (: Have all of the important discussions <em>before</em> you go in to the meeting, and leave the not so important ones for another time.<br />
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Ask the birth parent(s) <em>and</em> their mothers if they're present, questions about themselves. Answer the questions they ask you, but let them do most of the talking. It has been shown that the more someone talks to you, the closer they feel to you. Don't interrupt or cut them off. Let a birth mother talk all she wants. If she's hesitant to talk, that's where you ask questions that don't just have a yes or no answer. <br />
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I wish we would've brought a camera to the first face-to-face meeting with our daughter's birth mom. I know it seems like a no-brainer, but in the stress of trying to get there (especially if you're going out of town) you might forget. Thankfully, we have lots of wonderful pictures from the placement, and ongoing communication with lots of pictures now, but it would've been fun to have some pictures from that first day we met.<br />
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So, when you go in for a face-to-face meeting, follow these be's, as well as one more. Be sure to follow your heart. It will be an amazing experience.Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-38222044138882282692011-11-09T11:16:00.000-07:002011-11-09T11:16:17.151-07:00Adoptive Parent Screening QuestionsContinuing on from the previous post....<br />
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Once you've been contacted by potential birth parents and received confirmation from them that there are no "deal-breaker" issues, it's wise to ask some screening questions to be sure everything is legit and that you would be a good match for each other. Remember to be sensitive and tactful when you ask these questions:<br />
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<ul><li>Are you involved with an agency / case worker? What is the phone number where they can be reached?</li>
<ul><li>If they are not involved with a case worker or agency that you can call to verify their identity, I would suggest asking for something concrete to verify a pregnancy i.e. an ultrasound picture with the birth moms name on it. Don't freak out over this and don't be too pushy, but it is in everybody's best interest that you know there is an actual pregnancy going on.</li>
</ul><li>What should I know about the baby? (If you haven't already covered this in the initial e-mail.)</li>
<ul><li>Gender, ethnicity, possible physical challenges, etc.</li>
</ul><li>What should we know about you?</li>
<ul><li>Degree of openness you are comfortable with</li>
<li>Level of prenatal care</li>
<li>Your physical health</li>
<li>Drug/alcohol use</li>
</ul><li>How many other families are you e-mailing?</li>
<ul><li>Just so you know what stage of the game they're at. If they e-mailed 10 families, they're just getting started. If they e-mailed 2, they're getting serious about making a decision.</li>
</ul><li>Is there any legal risk in this adoption? (for example, the birth father is contesting it)</li>
<ul><li>Almost every adoption has some degree of legal risk. On a personal note, the adoptions of both of my two older children had some legal risk. With our daughter, it turned into a drawn out battle with the birth father that took 18 months to resolve. (Actually, once it finally made it to court, the judge threw it out and we were able to finalize, but it took that long to actually get to court.) With our son, the legal risk ended up NOT materializing into a problem, and there were no issues at all.</li>
</ul></ul>Once you all have your initial questions answered and have discovered that you could be a good match, it's time to move forward to a face to face meeting. That will be covered in the next post....Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-2149988965078823592011-11-07T15:24:00.001-07:002011-11-07T15:25:06.083-07:00Communicating With Potential Birth ParentsSo, I thought I'd share some great information that I learned at the National Families Supporting Adoption Conference about communicating with birth parents. Kevin Theriot is an amazing social worker and was the presenter for this workshop. Most of this information came from him, but I'm telling it in my own way. There is a lot of information that I <em>wish</em> someone would've told me when we first adopted our daughter almost ten years ago.<br />
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I'm going to split it into several posts...otherwise it's just too long! Today we'll start at the beginning. It is, after all, a very good place to start. (:<br />
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You are ready to adopt a baby. You're either working on a home study, or have it completed. You are spreading the word about your desire to adopt, and you've set up an e-mail address designated to receive communications from potential birth parents. You log on one day, and discover an e-mail from a birth mom. You're ecstatic! Overjoyed! Exuberant!<br />
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Before you get too carried away, there are a few things you should do (or not do). The first thing is actually a 'not do'. Do NOT assume that the birth parents have any information about your preferences for adopting. If you have any 'deal-breakers' (level of drug/alcohol abuse, specific gender, ethnic background, etc.) then you need to tactfully ASK about those things right up front. It's just mean to pursue a relationship and then have to tell the birth mom later on that you're not interested because you found out about one of these deal-breaker issues. Remember to be sensitive, but don't be afraid to ASK!<br />
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The next thing is to BE HONEST! The birth parents will probably have asked you some questions. Answer them openly and honestly, whether you think it's what they want to hear or not.<br />
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So, reply to that first e-mail and then wait patiently to hear back. If you do hear back, you should ask some screening questions to make sure that they are legitimate birth parents. It's rare, but unfortunately there are a few misguided people out there who try to scam hopeful adoptive couples. And those questions....will be covered in my next post.<br />
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Until then, Happy Adoption Awareness Month!Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-32140558886287136662011-11-03T20:10:00.000-06:002011-11-03T20:10:21.041-06:00Final Cover ArtI'm SO excited to post the FINAL cover art for my novel, due out on February 8! Many thanks to Angela Olsen at Cedar Fort for her beautiful work! And since this book is all about infertility and adoption....it's a perfect fit for national adoption month! Check out the Delivering Hope tab on my blog for more info, or go to <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Delivering-Hope-Jennifer-Ann-Holt/dp/1599559021/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1320372402&sr=1-3">Amazon.com</a> where you can pre-order your very own copy!<br />
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So .... pause for effect.....<br />
(Yes, I borrowed that from Despicable Me. One of the funniest shows ever!)<br />
Here it is:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG5XGWEunTl4fm77m5o_YnkaKV18p-TUJlTr-YlGHIYW_shJA5KQc4DUI7ypqpXtfbV47-mWOxi5J-6EU9t4xzhbaKN9N6IgO7_yWqDCylhzh6JB4LBYHf6YBX5GCNYF5Gkb6FfvUo2EYm/s1600/Delivering+Hope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG5XGWEunTl4fm77m5o_YnkaKV18p-TUJlTr-YlGHIYW_shJA5KQc4DUI7ypqpXtfbV47-mWOxi5J-6EU9t4xzhbaKN9N6IgO7_yWqDCylhzh6JB4LBYHf6YBX5GCNYF5Gkb6FfvUo2EYm/s320/Delivering+Hope.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-9513792147472341512011-11-02T14:01:00.000-06:002011-11-02T14:01:08.801-06:00National Adoption MonthI know, I know, it's been a while since I've posted. But, in my defense, I have been busily working on a sequel to my novel <em>Delivering Hope</em>. (: The sequel is buzzing along and I'm having fun uncovering 'the rest of the story' for the characters that I created and love. But, I couldn't let National Adoption Month pass without resuming my blogging.<br />
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Check back throughout the month to read more about my adoption experiences...both the successful and the failed ones (and what I learned from them), as well as some tips about communicating with birth parents (these will mostly come from a wonderful social worker named Kevin Theriot whose workshop I attended at the National Families Supporting Adoption Conference) and any other fun or hopeful things I come up with.<br />
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Have a wonderful day and check back soon!Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-60601236975337034052011-08-26T18:21:00.001-06:002011-08-26T18:28:39.201-06:00Flower Power MomThanks to Sylvia for reading and responding to my post, <a href="http://jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com/2011/08/anyone-who-wants-to-be-parent-can-be.html">"Anyone Who Wants To Be A Parent Can Be?"</a> It looks like they have a great program set up to educate and help women over 40 who are trying to become mothers. Check it out!<br />
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<div class="yiv1880135324msonormal" id="yui_3_2_0_5_131440410152376" style="background: white; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><a href="http://www.flowerpowermom.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><i><span style="color: #234786;">FlowerPowerMom.com</span></i></a><i>—The Truth About Motherhood After 40 <span style="color: #454545;">(</span></i><a href="http://flowerpowermom.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span style="color: #234786;">http://flowerpowermom.com/</span></a><i><span style="color: #454545;">)</span></i><i id="yui_3_2_0_5_131440410152374"><span id="yui_3_2_0_5_131440410152372">, features real mom stories, expert advice and the first online community to empower all women on the journey of motherhood after 40.<span class="yiv1880135324apple-converted-space"> </span></span></i><a href="http://www.flowerpowermom.com/a-child-after-40-online" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #234786;">A Child After 40</span></span></a><span class="yiv1880135324apple-converted-space"><i> </i></span><i>online offers support and free <span class="yiv1880135324apple-style-span">“</span></i><a href="http://www.flowerpowermom.com/experts" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><i><span style="color: #234786;">Ask Our Expert</span></i></a><i>” educational forums on midlife motherhood—from fertility, ART, pregnancy, birth or adoption, to parenting after 40.</i></div>Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-24011076019229313352011-08-24T17:31:00.000-06:002011-08-24T17:31:22.771-06:00DeliveryI LOVE, LOVE, LOVE <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3UTh40q8KM&feature=youtube_gdata_player">this video</a>! I've always loved this song! It all speaks for itself. Enjoy!Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-50222837265393493242011-08-10T07:00:00.000-06:002011-08-10T07:00:05.785-06:00Anyone Who Wants To Be A Parent, Can Be?During some of my online reading and research, <a href="http://bit.ly/ovh9OI">this news story</a> caught my attention. Although I have lived in Idaho for the past year, my life up until then was spent in Utah. Maybe that's why it hit close to home.<br />
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The current Mrs. Utah is a woman who has struggled with infertility and multiple miscarriages. She has been able to give birth to two healthy children and has plans to continue fertility treatments to grow her family. Part of her platform as Mrs. Utah is to educate the public about infertility, which I love. She talks about her involvement with the Utah Fertility Center and how they are putting on seminars together to educate the public.<br />
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The part that rubs me the wrong way is at the end of the article where she says that "anyone who wants to be a parent can be". There was no discussion at all about adoption or what happens if your health issues make it impossible to become pregnant, only about pursuing fertility treatments. The fact remains that there are some people who will never get pregnant, no matter how hard they try. And what about adoption? Adoption has been an amazing way of having many, many, many children join their forever families. Why not at least mention it as an option?<br />
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However, if you feel that adoption is not right for you, or if you are trying to adopt and haven't been successful, there are many cases where no matter how badly you want to be a parent, you aren't. So, while I'm glad that Mrs. Utah is trying to bring awareness to infertility, I feel like her statement was wrong and possibly hurtful. What do you think?Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-556519435353004632011-08-08T07:00:00.000-06:002011-08-08T07:00:10.717-06:00I Am Not My BodyI found this video about an amazing woman that I wanted to share with you. Although she is not struggling with infertility, she is dealing with a severe trial of her own, and I felt her story resonate with me. I love the part where she says, "I am not my body."<br />
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All too often, we allow our physical appearance or limitations to define who we are. When I was struggling through infertility, that infiltrated every part of me. I believed I wasn't as good as women who could get pregnant. That there was something intrinsically wrong with <em>me </em>that had caused this.<br />
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The logical part of my brain told me that this wasn't true, but it took a lot of time and healing for my heart and mind to believe it. That's one of the reasons I love this video. She has learned something that is definitely worth sharing: I Am Not My Body.<br />
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She also talks about her new feelings about motherhood. Again, my heart was touched. I have often told people that I don't think I love my children any more than any other mother, but I do think that I appreciate them more because of the long and painful journey it took to get them here.<br />
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The video closes with one of my favorite scriptures, that I have <a href="http://jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com/2011/04/never-alone.html">written about before</a>. What a great story about someone who is choosing happiness in the face of living a life that she never planned on.<br />
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<a __untrusted="true" href="http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Ffeature%3Dplayer_detailpage%26v%3DKHDvxPjsm8E&h=QAQD9EEPv" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3b5998;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?f<wbr>eature=player_detailpage&v=KHD<wbr>vxPjsm8E</span></a>Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-20061326856643112682011-08-05T07:00:00.003-06:002011-08-05T07:00:13.900-06:00Make Your Decision, And Then Make It Work<strong>Grandpa taught me to make a decision, and then make it work.</strong> About two years ago, my sister (who also has infertility issues) and her husband were considering adopting a sibling group of 4 children from foster care. They had 2 children already, an eleven-year-old daughter she had given birth to, and a seven-year-old son who they adopted as an infant. This sibling group consisted of a twelve-year-old girl, and three boys ages five, three, and two.<br />
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After much prayer and soul-searching, they felt like they were going to adopt them, but my sister called Grandpa to talk to him about it first. He told her, "Well, it sounds like you have done everything you need to to make a good decision about this. The best advice that I can give you is that once you make your decision, that is the end of it. Then just get busy making it work." They did adopt these four children and they are busy making their wonderful family work.<br />
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Not only is this great advice for adoption, it's great advice for life. Now, I know as well as anybody, that our best laid plans are not always successful - no matter how hard we try to make them work. But, when that happens, I believe that - although it is difficult - we can make the choice to move forward and seek healing and happiness anyway. And once we make that choice, then we just need to get busy making it work.<br />
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Thanks, Grandpa, for these (and so many other) lessons that you have taught me. Thank you for the life you have lived and the example you are to all those around you. Thank you for your love and the legacy you have built. A legacy that has nothing to do with earthly riches, and everything to do with serving, loving, working, and living.Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-89997311264892382202011-08-03T07:00:00.003-06:002011-08-03T07:00:22.157-06:00Enjoy The Journey<strong>Grandpa taught me to enjoy the journey. </strong>According to my dad, Grandpa used to say something to the effect of, "I'm never lost. I might be on a road I've never traveled before, but I'm never lost. I'm just enjoying new scenery." Grandpa's life is a perfect example of enjoying the journey. Whether it has been traveling roads all over the United States, England, or Australia, or simply traveling along in the journey of life, Grandpa never takes a minute for granted. <br />
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To this day, when he drives around with my dad, Grandpa has one rule. If it's a road Grandpa hasn't been on before, Dad has to make sure he's awake to see it. If there's a new baby in the family, Grandpa wants to hold him or her. If there's a hug to give, Grandpa gives it. If there's a moment to be enjoyed, Grandpa savors it.<br />
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Through all of the ups and downs in life, Grandpa has always found a way to enjoy the journey.Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6300837387063784926.post-22432661158102069332011-08-01T07:00:00.002-06:002011-08-01T07:00:04.496-06:00When Life is Hard, Keep Going<strong>Grandpa taught me that when life is hard (and sometimes it will be) you just have to keep going. </strong>When you live to be 102, (or 32 for that matter) you are going to face some hard times in life. My grandpa was 20 years old when the United States plunged into The Great Depression. He lived through it. He has been a farmer, a rancher, a truck driver, and the owner of a small dairy freeze drive-in. During his lifetime, he has lost his job, lost his farm, and lost children and grandchildren to death. His dear wife of 50 years died about 22 years ago. He has watched his children and grandchildren suffer from sickness, injury, disease, sadness, and heartache. He has suffered from injury and illness himself.<br />
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Through all of this, I have never heard or seen Grandpa complain. Don't get me wrong, I have watched him grieve. I have watched him pray. I have seen him correct. I have heard him comfort. But always, ALWAYS, I have watched him move forward with faith and love. Jennifer Holthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08161006609678374647noreply@blogger.com3