Wednesday, May 25, 2011


On Monday, I promised to follow up with something that I believe can put each one of us on the path to real healing.  Since today is officially Wednesday's Words, I'll quote a wise man, and you see if you can pick out what leads to healing.

"If ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage."

Can you find the concrete piece of advice?  The thing that can help lead us out of the bondage of pain and anger?  Service!  Now, I know that it says we should serve the Lord, but to quote another wise man, "When ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God."

Sound too simple?  Let me give you a very honest example from my own life.  After my husband and I had adopted first our daughter, and then our son, and even after our youngest son (who I conceived thanks to five years of fertility treatments) came home from the hospital after 8 1/2 weeks in the NICU, and after I had slowly recovered from the after effects of toxemia and a mini-stroke which led to our youngest being born via emergency c-section nearly 3 months early, I still had a very hard time whenever someone announced a pregnancy.

I had a hard time when women complained about the discomfort of their last trimester, when all I had wanted was for my baby to be big enough that my husband could feel him move inside of me.  I still got angry when people wished their pregnancy would hurry and be over, and it hurt my heart to watch mothers leave the hospital the day after giving birth with their perfect, newborn baby.

One night as I was praying about how to move past these feelings, I had an idea.  At the time, there were a dozen or so women that I was acquainted with, who were pregnant.  The idea came to me that I should make a receiving blanket and burp rags for each one of these ladies as their baby was born.  I dismissed the idea.  I didn't want to even acknowledge that they were pregnant, let alone make a gift for them.

However, the idea would not leave me alone, so I went to Wal-Mart and bought a bunch of material and went to work.  The first few that I made, I cried most of the time making them, and cried even harder after I delivered the gift.  It was hard for me.  But, I felt compelled to continue with what I had started. 

As the weeks and months went by, it started getting easier to make and present my gifts, and before long I found that I was enjoying it.  My stomach no longer twisted into knots when a pregnancy was announced.  My heart stopped aching when I saw a woman with a 38-week belly.  I even found that I started feeling some sympathy for the women who were sweating through a third trimester summer.

To this day, I love to provide service to women who have just had a baby.  Whether it's throwing a baby shower, tying a quilt, sewing a receiving blanket, or taking dinner to them, it makes me happy when I serve.  The heart-wrenching bondage is over.  Healing has come.  But not because I pampered and treated myself.  Because I reached outside of myself and tried to help someone else.

Monday, May 23, 2011


Monday's Myth:  The more I do for myself, the better I'll feel about my infertility.

I had a hard time deciding exactly how to word this myth, but I think you get the gist of what I'm saying.  We've all tried this; doing something special for ourselves when we are feeling bad about not getting pregnant or when we find out someone else is pregnant.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I think it's okay and good and healthy to pamper yourself once in a while and even more important to take time doing things you enjoy.  Writing is one of these for me, and so is a monthly book club with friends, and an occassional girls' night out, and going to the salon to get my hair done.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with any of it.

The problem starts when we begin believing that we can heal our own pain by focusing more time and attention on our own self.  Let me just share.  This doesn't work.  We might momentarily push the hurt to the back burner, but absorbing ourself in "me, me, me" will never make the pain go away.  It just won't.

Don't despair, there actually is a way for true and real healing to take place.  There is something that can put us firmly on the path of recovery.  And that is ...... something I will share with you on Wednesday.  Stay tuned!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Cover Art

So, my first official Wednesday's Words will be me gushing about my novel Delivering Hope that will be released in February 2012.  (:

Well, not about the novel, exactly...

More about the amazing graphic designers working at Cedar Fort!  I got the preliminary cover art for my book and it is beautiful!

I'm so excited to share it with everyone, but I'll have to wait until the final artwork is finished.  When it is, rest assured that you'll be the first to get an official sneak peek!  I can't wait!!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Just Because It's Your Secret, Doesn't Mean It's True

Monday Myth:  I did something that caused my infertility.

Unfortunately, I think this is a myth that we often carry around in the deep recesses of our hearts and minds.  It's not something that we talk about or share with anyone, not even our spouse or other loved ones.  Because it's our own little secret, we continue to harbor it and build it into a complicated and convincing truth.

The reality is that this myth is simply NOT true!  Past mistakes (real or perceived) are not punished through infertility.  IF is NOT punishment for mistakes we made in the pre-existence, nor did we cause it by our actions here on earth.

I think it's only natural to ask the "why me" question, and I don't pretend to have all the answers.  I do know that this is a mortal world and each of us agreed to enter mortality and face the trials, heartaches, and unfairness that is an inherent part of an imperfect world.

Let's not make it harder than it needs to be.  Pull this dusty old myth out of the mothballs of your mind and expose it for what it really is:  a lie meant to drag us down.  And remember the words of Galinda to her new friend Elphaba in the musical Wicked:  "Just because it's your secret, doesn't mean it's true!" 

Friday, May 13, 2011


Since I love reading, writing, and the power that the written word can bring into each of our lives, I will be starting Wednesday's Words.  This might be a post about a book, or my thoughts on a quote I've come across or maybe something about my book or what I'm currently working on.  Now, I am aware that today is actually Friday, not Wednesday, but I'll give you a sneak peek into Wednesday's Words today.

I just finished a really fun book called Diary of a Fairy Godmother by Esme Raji Codell.  At the very end, after dealing with much conflict and growth of her own, a young witch (turned Fairy Godmother) gives her new cousin a gift:

"Conflict," I whispered into his ear.  "In small doses."
After all, it builds character.
And I can't imagine a better thing to have.

That resonated with me.  One of the biggest conflicts I have had in my life was the struggle to bring children into my family.  The heartache, the tears, the "punch to the gut" moments when all I could do was wrap my arms around my chest to try and hold everything together.

This conflict branched out into many other private battles that were fought within the confines of my mind:  the frustration towards well-meaning people who said all the wrong things, jealousy of the pregnant women I passed at church, anger at Heavenly Father for witholding the blessing of children from me, sadness because of the ache in my heart and in my empty arms.

I can also say that some of the biggest times of growth I have ever experienced came as I worked to resolve these conflicts; the biggest of all as I learned to turn these feelings over to the Savior and let Him help me carry them, until the day came when I could finally set them down.

I didn't want to hear it at the time, but this conflict really did build my character and changed who I am and the way I view the world.  It has made me a better person.  And isn't that what this life is all about?

Monday, May 9, 2011

Coming Soon...

Wow, what a crazy spring we're having!  I have been sick more in the last month than in the last two years combined!!!  But, I'm starting to feel better, and am getting ready to refine my blog and get a blogging schedule in place.  Thanks to everyone who is following and bearing with me while I'm learning.  It is lots of fun for me! (:

So, this past weekend, I had the chance to attend the LDStorymakers Conference in Salt Lake City.  What a great event!  I attended a lot of workshops on social media, and learned how much I didn't know!  It was also great to meet some fellow writers from all over the Western United States and even Hawaii.  SO much fun!  I was smiling all weekend.  If you love to write, I'd highly recommend this conference (but now, you'll have to wait until next year)!

So, stay tuned for my upcoming blog schedule.  One of the items I'm going to start is Monday's Myth where I talk about an infertility or adoption myth.  There are so many of them out there!  If any of you have one of these myths that you would like to see "busted" on the blog, just leave a comment and let me know!

Have a wonderful day and check back soon!