Conflict

Since I love reading, writing, and the power that the written word can bring into each of our lives, I will be starting Wednesday's Words.  This might be a post about a book, or my thoughts on a quote I've come across or maybe something about my book or what I'm currently working on.  Now, I am aware that today is actually Friday, not Wednesday, but I'll give you a sneak peek into Wednesday's Words today.

I just finished a really fun book called Diary of a Fairy Godmother by Esme Raji Codell.  At the very end, after dealing with much conflict and growth of her own, a young witch (turned Fairy Godmother) gives her new cousin a gift:

"Conflict," I whispered into his ear.  "In small doses."
After all, it builds character.
And I can't imagine a better thing to have.

That resonated with me.  One of the biggest conflicts I have had in my life was the struggle to bring children into my family.  The heartache, the tears, the "punch to the gut" moments when all I could do was wrap my arms around my chest to try and hold everything together.

This conflict branched out into many other private battles that were fought within the confines of my mind:  the frustration towards well-meaning people who said all the wrong things, jealousy of the pregnant women I passed at church, anger at Heavenly Father for witholding the blessing of children from me, sadness because of the ache in my heart and in my empty arms.

I can also say that some of the biggest times of growth I have ever experienced came as I worked to resolve these conflicts; the biggest of all as I learned to turn these feelings over to the Savior and let Him help me carry them, until the day came when I could finally set them down.

I didn't want to hear it at the time, but this conflict really did build my character and changed who I am and the way I view the world.  It has made me a better person.  And isn't that what this life is all about?