Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Only God Can Do That

For my neighborhood book club this month, we read The Silence of God by Gale Sears.  I enjoyed the historical aspect of this novel (it's based on the lives of the only LDS family in St. Petersburg at the time of the Bolshevik Revolution), but the thing I want to talk about is the Christian side.  At one point the father of this family explains to their neighbor (who also happens to be the very best friend of his daughter) that no person - not even Marx or Lenin - knows how to change man from a selfish, self-centered being into a hard-working person who helps those around him.  That kind of change can not come from outside sources; it comes from a change of heart, and "only God can do that".

This really struck a chord with me!  It's so true!  And not only as it relates to this specific situation.  No matter what trial we are going through, no matter what heartache we are facing, no matter which character flaw we are striving to overcome, no matter the type of pain that we are trying to heal from....none of the help and change we need comes from outside sources.  It must be a change of heart, and in order to have that, we need to allow a Higher Power into our lives in whatever form we believe.

For me, that Higher Power is a loving Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.  So, I daily do the simple things that bring me closer to them...things like praying, reading scriptures, serving others, enjoying the miracle of a flower blooming, watching the birds hop around the grass in my back yard, pausing to watch the sunset...anything that elevates my thoughts and feelings.

So, whether you are trudging through infertility, or trying to find healing after placing a baby, or watching a loved one go through one of these experiences...please know that peace can come, but my experience has been that "only God can do that!"

Monday, June 13, 2011

Monday's Infertility Myth

Monday's Myth:  If you had more faith, you would get pregnant.

Unfortunately, this is a myth that gets passed around, even (at times) from well-meaning religious leaders.  All it takes is one glimpse around a hospital maternity ward, or a playground, or a kindergarten classroom, or just about anywhere else before you realize that babies are not handed out based on faith or religious ideals.  That's simply not the way our mortal world works.

It is easy to combat this myth logically, but believe me, I know that it is harder to bust it emotionally.  I often tossed this myth around in my mind because I thought that if I just prayed harder or believed more firmly, my body would miraculously be cured and a baby would result.  Since that didn't happen, it must be my fault, right?  Wrong!

Maybe you're tired of hearing me say that I don't have all the answers, but the truth is that I don't.  I don't understand why conceiving and bearing children comes so easily to some and is so much more difficult and heartwrenching for others, but I have gained the understanding that it has nothing to do with the quantity or quality of faith.  It might be genetics, it might be environment, it might be illness, it might be chance, it might be an all-encompassing plan that God has, or it might be a little of each.

Whatever the reason you are struggling, please don't give up your faith - but don't berate yourself for your lack of faith either.  Just keep doing the best you can one day at a time.  I believe that's all God really asks of you, anyway.