It Really Is

I'm writing this post in honor of a poem that is in the April 2011 Ensign magazine called "Just The Same".  If you haven't read it yet, check it out.  It's on page 30.  If you don't subscribe to the magazine, you can find it on http://www.ensign.lds.org/ but you'll have to wait until April.  I read this poem and loved it because it expressed very simply and eloquently the answer to a question that I get asked from time to time.

For those of you who don't know me, my husband and I have three children.  When we had been trying to get pregnant for a little over a year with no success, we had a very strong impression that we should try to adopt, as well as continue working on fertility treatments.  So, we moved forward on both fronts.  Over the years, we adopted our daughter, and then our son, as well as becoming pregnant (after five years of fertility treatments).  I won't go into all the details today, but it was not a regular, healthy pregnancy, and our youngest son was born via emergency c-section about 3 months early.  That's a story for another day...this is just the long way of telling you that two of our children joined our family through adoption, and one is our biological child.  This brings me back to the question I have been asked, and the beautiful answer in the poem I mentioned.

"Do you love your 'own' child more than your others?"  Okay, first, I always mentally cringe and try to be pleasant as I say, "Well, I have three of my 'own' children.  But if you're asking if I love my biological son more than my two children who we adopted, the answer is no.  Absolutely not.  I love and cherish all three of my children."  This is where they peer closely into my eyes and probe further, "Of course you love them all, but it's different, right?"  I return their gaze and reply, "It's not different.  My love for all of them is the same.  It really is."  At this point, if it's a random stranger in the supermarket (you'd be surprised how often that actually happens since two of my children are of a different ethnicity than I am) I just smile and turn away.  No need to get into it further.  If it's someone I care about I might continue on and point out that love isn't about biology.  Love is about serving and sacrificing and cuddling and wiping tears and midnight feedings and nights of colic and laughing and holding and changing diapers and cleaning messes and fretting over fevers and wiping runny noses and swinging at the park and washing dishes and bedtime stories and lullabies and a million and one other little moments that make up life.  Love is love.  It's just the same.

And that's why I want everyone to read "Just the Same" by Diana Lynn Lacey.  Because it really is.  

Spring is Here!

The robins are out in force around my house.  Now, that might have something to do with the fact that it has been raining off and on for 10 days and there are more big, juicy worms lying on the sidewalks than the birds can even find time to eat.  But, I'm choosing to ignore that fact, and focus on the fact that the robins are here, which in my mind means one thing.  Spring!  Granted, our first winter in Boise was not all that terrible.  It snows now and then, but then the sun comes out and melts it all.  It's cold, but not so foggy that you can't see 10 feet in front of you.  My kids did get a snow day, although they were slightly disappointed to discover only about 8 inches of the white stuff in the front yard.  (They have lived in Utah up until now, after all.  They were expecting feet of snow if the schools were closed.)  Even so, I always love when the winter starts fading and we realize that spring is just around the corner.  It kind of feels like a new beginning; a clean slate.  It is actually easier for me to make "resolutions" as spring time is blossoming than in January when we're in the thick of winter.  There is so much new life around that it helps me believe that there are things in my life that can be new also.  I can forgive someone who has hurt me.  I can forgive myself for the mistakes I have made.  I can wake up every morning and make the choice to have a positive attitude and look for the good around me.  I can believe that Jesus Christ loves and cares about me, even (and especially) during hard times.  I can love someone a little more.  I can judge someone a little less.  I can stop for a moment and watch the robins out my window.  You get the idea.
So, Happy Spring!  Take some time to enjoy the new season of the year, and look for one way to make a part of your life new as well.  Oh, and watch out for all those worms on the sidewalk.  If you squish some as you back out of the driveway, the children in your life (whether your own or the neighbors') will never let you hear the end of it!