Monday, April 11, 2011

Never Alone

I can't believe it's been over a week since I posted!  We've been dealing with spring colds and I haven't been feeling terrific.  I think we're on the downhill slide, though.  Yay!

I have had some interesting conversations and experiences this week that really got my mental gears cranking.  As I have pondered over the many, many heartaches and pains and unexpected circumstances that we have to face in this life, I've been wondering.  How do any of us make it?  How did I make it through when my heart was breaking over the fact that I couldn't have a baby?  How did I survive the craziness and the roller coaster of emotions as we struggled through fertility treatments and the ups and downs of trying to adopt?  How did I come through watching my tiny son literally struggle for life for 8 1/2 weeks while trying to maintain a "normal" life at home for my two older children?  How did I make it when my barely 4-year-old daughter suffered a serious break to her leg and was in a cast from her hip to her toes and was on strict instructions to not walk or even try to stand for 6 weeks, while I had two baby boys under a year old and a husband who was often out of town on business?  Feel free to insert your own questions in here.  I know that some of you have struggled through similar situations and some of you have faced so much worse.  So, how do we keep going?

I'm going to venture an answer.  We make it because we are not alone.  We are never alone.  One of my favorite verses of scripture (which I have hanging above my piano in our living room) is "I will go before your face...I will be on your right hand and on your left..my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you...to bear you up."  Doctrine and Covenants 84:88  Not only do we have the power and comfort of Christ's love, we have angels around us, bearing us up.  I have come to believe in this verse in a very literal manner.  We all have ancestors and loved ones who have gone on before, and I believe that they can and do help and support and even "carry" us when the situations we face seem beyond our ability to bear.  Sometimes we might feel and appreciate their presence in the very midst of our trials, and other times we might feel alone; not recognizing the help and comfort we received until we can look back on the experience with the perspective that comes with time. 

So, when you find yourself (as we all will at some point or other) struggling just to keep your head above water.  Don't despair.  Try to find a glimmer of hope in the knowledge that there are angels by your side.  They can't necessarily pull you out of the water, but they won't let you drown.

1 comment:

meggykalmes said...

Thank you for this post, I loved it! We have gone through several trials over the last several years, and infertility has for sure been the most challenging and heartbreaking. Knowing you're not alone is the only thing that made it bearable for me. Sometimes we do lose site of that but we do have others to 'carry' us. Now that my husband and I are finally at a point financially where we can put our adoption papers in, I find myself very excited and scared. Mostly excited, but you always have those what if's in the back of your mind, like what if it takes forever and we've already waited sooo long or what if the birth mother changes her mind. But I know that the Lord will help us through this process. I do have to say though that talking with others in my same situation lately has been the most therapeutic. We aren't alone, no matter our trial. Thanks again for your words! :)